What is 17, 19 and blue?

Elizabeth! She is 17 months old, 19 pounds and her cast is blue! Yesterday she turned 17 months old. It was also cast change day. Between casts, we had her weighed to see how big she is with out the cast. 19 pounds! She was 16 when we got her and 17.5 when we came home. A few weeks ago she was 19 with the cast. She has filled out so nicely. Her face is more round, she has a waist and a little bum now so clothes are staying on. Her arms don't look like little twigs that could snap at any minute. I think the most weight gained is in her cheeks! They are so full and cute. Her face is so round and her complexion is so beautiful. The last eight weeks have made such a difference, she looks so different from the tiny, sick, little baby we met March 31.

She is doing so well. Everyday we marvel at her progress. She laughs so easily and smiles all the time. She wants to be cuddled more and more and will even give a two second hug. She still will pull away if she is getting too much snuggling, but for the most part likes it more and more.

She has two signs in her repitoire. She can tell us "more" and "all done". The best is when she says "all done" when she is in her car seat. We'll be driving along and after a while she will start whining and doing "all done". It makes us laugh. Sam is trying to teach her "cookie". I think she is stubborn and ignoring our requests. People keep asking how much English she is understanding. I think she is getting everything. Or as much as any toddler her age.

Sam is still the best big brother ever. He is so good with her and so proud of her. I continue to be amazed with him. We think that he is so good because in his whole memory he has been wanting a baby sister and waiting for her. David and I are amazed that through the whole process, he never lost hope. He was so young and he kept on believing. Us, that is a different story.

On Sunday in church we sang a new hymn, This is a day of new beginnings #640 (if you have the Mennonite Hymnal around). The tune was not the greatest, but the words made me cry. It says, "This is the day of new beginnings, time to remember and move on, time to believe what love is bringing, laying to rest the pain that is gone. For by the life and death of Jesus, God's mighty Spirit now as then, can make for us a world of difference as faith and hope are born again. Then let us, with the Spirit's daring step from the past and leave behind our disappointment, guilt and grieving, seeking new paths and sure to find. Christ is alive, and goes before us to show and share what love can do. This is a day of new beginnings our God is making all things new." I have been thinking a lot about the last 5 years and closing the chapter of longing and working and opening this next new chapter in my life; Mommy to two beautiful wonderful kids. For so long we were trying to get pregnant. Then for so long we were trying to adopt and working so hard on all the paperwork and fundraising. It was the summer of 2002 when it all started. Now in the spring of 2008 that chapter is done. March 31, we started a new. We started our lives as parents of two children, not one child and hoping for another. Aside from moving on to this new stage, I need to have closure on the process of the adoption. It was very hard, traumatic, invasive, humiliating at times and very stressful. At then end though, we have Elizabeth. Even in all her wonderfulness, it is still hard to put the process to rest. It think of this hymn and how this is the time to "step from the past and leave our disappointment, guilt and grieving". In the time we spent trying to get pregnant, the disappointment, guilt and grief were incredible. Now looking back, I am so thankful we did not get pregnant, because then we would not have been lead down the adoption path. It is strange to now be thankful for my infertility. The pain and stress of the incredibly long process to adopt from China was also a blessing. It stretched the time out so we were matched with Elizabeth. If the process was any shorter, we would not have gotten her. Now I am saying I was blessed with the long wait? Looking back I can see God's hand in the last five years. I think I may have glimpsed it along the way, but not fully realized it. I was too wrapped up in the whole thing to notice much at all. So, we are in a time of new beginnings. We are parenting two children not just one and we have a daughter, not just a son. We are also complete as a family of four, not longing for or waiting for something or someone.